No Style Points

!. When did exams during the day become so passe? They're like the Encylopedia Brittanica of 2006. I hope next year pants go out of style. Those things itch like crazy.

2. Also, when did "Your gynecologist" jokes become the new "Your mom" jokes.

3. I'm a tool and read the most current issue of Details Magazine. Supposedly, Vin Diesel wants to make a trilogy of movies on the life of Hannibal -- movies where the hero "will speak Punic, a language no one has heard in 2,000 years."

And that didn't come from the Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator.

Judging by this picture though, I'm afraid that Vin Diesel's dopey smile managed to eat my dopey smile whole. He lead a rich and full life.

4. After March Monday's Midnight E&M Exam, I went to the Fox and Hound with another graduate student. After a few beers, he made the scathing observation that a girl who just walked into the bar clearly had fake boobs, fake hair, and a fake tan. That ladies and gentlemen is the Tri-Faketa -- a dubious distinction at best and a recognition of one's commitment to Sparkle Motion.

5. Nothing is going out of style faster than logic. Some family of supposed Baptists have been protesting the funerals of American soldiers who have died in Iraq. Their message is that God is punishing soldiers who defend a nation that harbors homosexuals.

Every now and then I see a bumper sticker that says, "Support Our Troops. Support Our President." And I've always wondered what other mutually exclusive things could you juxtapose together. My personal favorite is "Support Our Troops. Support Fried Rice," which seems to be in the very least a statement which promotes good nutrition for the soldiers. They get more support from fried rice than they get from the president, I suppose. I might be biased though since I grew up on the stuff. And perhaps I'm guilty of the prevalent Midwestern Half-Filipino bias that is running rampant in this country.

At any rate, I suppose these fellows protesting funerals would have a bumper sticker along the lines of, "You don't have to be Pro-Khomeni to be Anti-American." I think that's a difficult line to walk though, what with the sharp discontinuities in sense and all.

6. Pomeranians.

7. Voice Inflection.

I'd like to show you my private accountant.

I'd like to show you my private accountant.

I would like to wear a little green visor, a button-down shirt with those band things around the elbows, and a good pair of suspenders though. And yes, I would like to fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize your tires, post-haste.

8. I would like to see a problem where you are asked to find the potential everywhere for a a potato of time-dependent charge inside of a grounded conducting cylinder which is cut in half by an oscillating infinite plane -- standing on the infinite plane are two conducting monkeys which are jumping up and down because they are right quick mad. For extra credit, stick your head in a microwave or jab a pencil in your eye.

9. I woke up the other night during the middle of an awesome thunderstorm. A flash of lightning woke me up, but the resultant thunder-crash was so loud and so immediate after the lightning strike that my first conclusion was that the waste-water facility next door to me managed to somehow violently explode -- bringing down the largest shit-storm to hit College Station ever. I thought the ground was shaking, but that could have just been my imagination.

Now that I think of it, waking up covered in the entire town's sewage does sound gross.

10. Baseball is America's pastime.