Thanksgiving

1. My brother looks, self-admittedly, goofy in all pictures because of the way he smiles. With a little coaching from his much wiser older brother though, I think we nailed down the secret to making fake-o looking smiles appear genuine.

I mean, look how happy he looks. Someone must have told a really funny joke.

Truly, the hallmarks of the Button Family Smile is to simply squint your eyes and smile really big. I never realized it before, but everyone in my family (with the notable exception of Scott, until now at least) smiles like that.

Also, note the new winter fashion everyone: horizontally-striped polo shirt over vertically-stripped, button-down dress shirt.

2. I had no idea that driving through Ohio during a holiday weekend could be so rough. Considering the traffic going north and south down I-71 (which basically runs the length of the state), I would have to assume that the entire state population was on the move.

3. As if everyone in my family wore this stupid, curly-hair, Magnum P.I. wig this past weekend...

I guess it is a good look though. I can't complain.











4. Facts about Kurt Vonnegut that only interest me (Taken from a collection of his short stories entitled, Bagombo Snuff Box):

a. He once told Joseph Heller that if it hadn't been for World War II, he would have been garden editor of The Indianapolis Star.

b. In an early short story that he wrote titled, Hal Irwin's Magic Lamp, he references Crawfordsville, Indiana.

c. In the fifties, Vonnegut quit his job doing PR for GE and moved his family to Cape Cod to begin writing full-time.

d. These are his 8 rules of creative writing:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

5. I would like to give thanks to the following relationship sponsors:
a. The Greater Main Street Association
b. The Koala Foundation of America
c. The Track Pants Twins, stars of the "Rock Your Bod" series (written and directed by Elisabeth Sugrue)
d. S.O.B (Save Our Beagles)
e. Lewis Black
f. Ben Folds
g. The letter, Q
h. Things that make you go, "Mmmmmm"
i. Continental Airlines
j. The Neon Cactus
k. The Parking Garage Preservation Society of Cincinnati
l. Chimney Rock
m. Friends and family

6. The thought of eating another White Castle cheeseburger makes my stomach turn, but I know someday, somewhere I'll try to share an entire Crave Case (that's 30 White Castles folks) with someone who is as much a glutton for punishment (and ungodly, awful food product) as I am.