2. The Great Koala Infestation of '05 (pronounced 'aught-five')
a) My koala wristband
b) My koala shot glasses that seem to be constantly misplaced
c) My faux-beanie baby koala friend
d) SudaCare Shower Soothers
e) Those Koala-Kare fold-out tables in bathrooms for changing smelly-diaper babies
3. Oversized hats, sunglasses, scarves, or mittens on undersized people or animals
a. Beagles
b. Babies
c. Bagles
d. Bugles
e. The Cincinnati "Bungles"
f. The Bangles and their amazing hit, "Walk Like an Egyptian"
g. Babies who root for the Bungles while listening to The Bangles and riding Beagles who play Bugles for Bagles (and any permutation thereof).
h. I don't know if that last sentence works so much any longer because Carson Palmer and the Bengles are pretty good this year.
4. Very bad puns
5. Cheese
a) Literal cheese, like the kind you can eat
b) Bad music, as in the cheesiest techno with the most vapid, banal lyrics and the out of control music videos that go along with them
c) Dressing and acting like a big chach (pronounced (CH-otch), completely irreverantly and out of spite
d) Bad infomercials: There's one on TV nowadays for a urine remover. It's called "Urine Gone!" I think it would be more aptly named "Urine Luck!" or even "Urine Trouble (No Longer)!" The best thing about "Urine Gone!" is that it comes with a blacklight. I presume this is so you can play the MTV Room Raiders game at home and at your own leisure.
At any rate, this product would have come in handy at Wabash. I have a long and colorful relationship with public urination.
6. I miss summers filled with basketball and baseball all day followed by hide-and-seek, ghosts in the graveyard, and video games all night.
7. Mannequins that wear nothing but their underpants and making them anatomically correct by snuggly fitting a large bouncey ball in the crotchular region
8. The way reading a good novel makes you feel after you finish and close it. It feels as though you are filled with an immutable wisdom -- not a transmuted sense of knowledge, but an intimacy of experiences that are now your own.
"The idea is not to get caught up in the minutae and all the details but to have a wild sense of what the time was like."-- The Fr. Ober, S.J.
9. The comedic stylings of Lewis Black, Family Guy, and The Simpsons and the people that can reference them cold
10. "...To fight and not to heed the wounds..."
AMDG
AEKDB
TAMU
IHOP
BFF LOL
TCY HI5
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