Alright...Just Do It Already

Oops, it's the middle of December, and I think it was like 64 degrees outside yesterday.

Beth was here for the past week and a half, and that was absolutely wonderful. She was excited about doing karaoke with the other physics grads, but the guy that runs it at the bar we go to did not show up, sadly.

I think we've been giving each other the same form of snyphyllus: congestion, runny nose, persistent sneezing, headache, body pain. Back and forth. Forever.

If you don't want to fuck around with having a stuffed-up nose (and I'm sure you don't), there's only one medicine to turn to: Tylenol Severe Cold and Congestion with Cool Mint Afterburst Freshness. That shit stops a cold dead in its tracks, providing relief for 8 hours straight.

If you're surprised that I can find amusement from talking in a made-up accent (in this case, arbitrarily adding r's after mostly every vowel...such as in, "It's ther Fartin' Tarxas Arggies!!") and through expressing laughter in a closed-mouth cackle, then you must hardly know me at all.

The trailer for the M. Night Shyamalan movie, Lady in the Water, starts with, "There once was a man named Cleveland Heep(Steamer)..."

Now for something completely unrelated to everything else:
Everyday? Even the days that end in "Q?"
Yes.
Good, because signs of an imminent Wednesdaq are all around.
Oh no! We should seek shelter immediately.

De-bunking myths about the Wednesdaq:

1. If you call his name, he will get angry and will attack you.
2. He's big and hairy and foams at the mouth.
3. He is of no relation to NASDAQ.
4. Tuesdaq is no match for the Wednesdaq.
5. The way to the Wednesdaq's heart is through his stomach. If he eats you whole, wait until you reach his stomach and then stumble around until you find what looks to be a triangular opening. Go through the opening and eat his heart. It will take at least 15 days to finish eating his heart, but you will be rewarded the next time you move your bowels and find a BRAND NEW LEXUS, complete with red ribbon atop the roof. Collect the jade monkey and break it open to find the keys to the Lexus. Drive the Lexus right on out of the Wednesdaq's dead and rotting corpse.
6. When unmasked, the Wednesdaq is unidentifiable. If you find his mask on the ground, be wary of everyone...even your closest of kin...ESPECIALLY your closest of kin.
7. Seek the help of a koala for protection against the Wednesdaq.
8. The Wednesdaq abhors gelato pie but will consume the occassional one-day old whole.

Some things to consider:

1. Would you rather be Toby Keith or have a boot stuck in your ass?

2. Would you rather have a koala infestation or a beagle infestation?

3. Would you rather be a hot, young astrophysicst (a la Kelly McGillis) or do Maverick (a la Kelly McGillis again)?

4. Would you rather be George W. Bush or Dan Quayle?