25 October 2005

Little Coincidences

1. SudaCare Shower Soothers. Warning: This product will cause koala infestations in your home and shower.

2. According to an unidentified source, the "relationship clock" starts ticking the first time you make-out (licit, illicit, or otherwise) with someone. Although that assertion sounds rather arbitrary and dubious, I suppose it will have to suffice since it seems to me that most benchmarks of a relationship involve the exchange of gifts (Have personalized "baller bands" or decoder rings reached mainstream society yet?). Custom Wristbands.

...I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
-- Crash Davis


3. I flew first class for the first time. Before serving you a meal, the steward or stewardess comes around with hot washrags that you use for hand-washing and face-steaming purposes (come back next week for my intellectual discourse entitled, "Cleveland Steamer vs. Fresh Vegetable Steamer: Who Really has the Upper Hand?"). I think the sight of some poor schmuck physics graduate student sitting in first class would be quite unnerving to your average paying coach customer. To my credit, I put on my best smug, pretentious face while sitting in the lap of luxury as the grovelling members of the middle classes boarded the plane and walked past my reclined, self-satisfied self. That was the easiest, most comfortable two hours of flying I've ever experienced. Awesome.

I've been very lucky and privileged as of late. Hopefully some of that luck will rub off on my performance in quantum mechanics this semester.

4. While driving around with Beth this past weekend, two Simon & Garfunkel (or Art & Paul, as they were originally titled) songs from the soundtrack for The Graduate played on the radio. I personally took that as a sign that we should go rent the movie in question and do so in a hurry. After driving all around West Lafayette though, we found out that the movie rental places either didn't have the movie available or didn't even bother carrying it in their store.

I was led to believe that The Graduate was one of the "Movies that Shook the World." Who is AMC to argue with the likes of Blockbuster or Family Video though? That's all I have to ask. Furthermore, can a business refer to itself as "family' oriented when it has a rather expansive adult section? Admittedly, in light of the fact that I took part in proposition "let's rent the porno bloopers tape from Family Video" as a pledge, I guess it would be hypocritical for me to criticize...although, the particular tape we rented sucked a lot and was not funny, so that has to be worth something.

5. I love beagles. I also like going to the pet store in the mall and disturbing some poor, sad beagle's slumber just so that I can play and dote over it while entertaining the notion of trying to own and care for a puppy for the fourth time. Barry Manilow wrote a song about his beagle, Mandy.

6. Wabash does NOT love sheep. No, I'm not upset about the time I was turned down by a sheep. And yes, I'm well aware that, "Baa means Baa."

Wabash beat the hell outta Wittenberg this past weekend to put them at a perfect 7-0. Mount Union was upset this past weekend by Ohio Northern, giving Wabash an outside chance at being #1 in the NCAA North regional rankings.

7. The men's department in the average department store is a lot more fun than I had ever envisioned. A wide world of funny hats, techno underwear, tweed jackets with leather patches on the elbow, and old man shoes await those of you who are inexperienced in the fine art of dressing like a stodgy, old, pretentious prick.

8. I like ice cream.

9. "...so many buttons, you could make a shirt!" -- random quote taken extremely out of context

10. Steve Perry of Journey fame vs. Ashlee Simpson of Ill-repute

"The resemblance is uncanny..." -- famous koala bear.

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